Quote:
Originally Posted by Calgaryborn
Wow every time I check were on a different topic.
I think the biggest benefit a deeply religious couple have over a nominal
person of faith or an agnostic/atheist is that they have a rule book.
Their religion defines their roles/responsibility within the relationship as well
as their expectations. This of course can be bad if the religion has oppressive expectations on one particular gender.
50 years ago our society itself provided specific roles for each gender. Today everything becomes a matter of negotiation and possibly debate. Marriage for many have become like playing a game were the players make up the rules and often change the rules as they play.
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Lol, I know, it does meander doesn't it. I didn't hear anything further about the press conference yet, so I guess we're all still waiting.
I think I agree with you about a deeply religious couple having a "rule book" helping the relationship, but not for the same reason. I think it helps a couple get into the mode of working out how things are going to work, gets everyone open and up front about the structure of things. Because really, roles in a modern Christain family are filled in as diverse a way as any other family.
And I think that can be established without religion as well, the couple has to be equally honest and communicative. They have to work those things out before hand. So I don't think it's exclusive to religion, I think it has more to do with your other point:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Calgaryborn
If that common sense is all you need how come so marriages fail?
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Because it's not that common!
I know a few younger married couples where I've heard the guy utter the phrase "if my wife knew...". That right there is the core of the problem. Dating often seem to be a game of presenting the best side, hiding the flaws, jockying for power, etc, and then when they get married since that's all their dating relationship ever covered, that's the only way they know to interact!
When I was dating my wife, we both told each other pretty early on that we weren't going to be false with each other; we were going to be honest (not hurtful or stupid, we're dating, of course we're going to try to win the other person's heart) with each other so that if we decided to take our relationship to the next level of commitment, that we knew who we were getting into it with. Not some facade, but the real person, their beliefs, dreams, hopes, fears, flaws, crazy parts... And I think we benfited greatly from that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Azure
Great post.
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Thanks
