[GreenLantern2814]

For the first two months of the pandemic, I was drinking an awful lot - mostly out of boredom. I’d been a 2-4 beer a night person for most of the last decade, going back to college, but I would rarely get drunk.

One night, at one in the morning, I was preparing to smoke a joint. I went to the fridge, reached passed the pile of lime Bubly waters and grabbed one of those vodka soda canned abominations. I took my first drink, and thought “I really wish there wasn’t alcohol in this.”

I don’t need a constant supply of alcohol - I drink it because I drink things, and it was what was in the fridge. So I started to replace the beer with sparkling water, to great effect - I lost about 20 lbs over the summer, and the only thing I did was replace 2-4 beer with 2-4 cans of Perrier.

As it’s gotten darker and as the second wave persists, I’ve found myself at the liquor store more frequently - blame some of that on the seasonal nature of Whistler Chestnut. But I’ve also noticed that I don’t like it when I drink during the week. Even when I do crack a beer, the voice in my ear says “why do you need something alcoholic right now?” And of course I have no good reason.

It certainly isn’t a struggle that consumes me every waking hour. Yet, a struggle it remains. If I had to give it up forever, I don’t know how much that would bother me.

So long as I had weed.

I enjoy weed too much. The pandemic hasn’t helped. And frankly, neither has legal weed. The inconvenience of drug dealers forced me to ration. Co-Op Cannabis is going to kill me.

I’m trying not to smoke anymore. It’s going okay. There are lapses. I’ve discovered the convenience of vapes, which... I don’t trust vapes. I think vapes make you look like you’re trying to quit smoking. Which, I guess so. At this point, victory is sticking exclusively to the oils. At least my lungs get the reprieve.

I suppose I’d say my relationship with alcohol is good. I don’t trust it, I don’t like it too much, and it doesn’t occupy any significant real estate in my brain.

I have to scale back the weed. A lot.

Regardless of their legality, we shouldn’t discount the capacity of these substances to ruin our lives.

With that said, life is hard and drugs help.

Just, be careful.

Much love, y’all.