Disagree, that's a good motto for lots in life, but not love.
Love is a crazy passionate, illogical thing, and does not obey such rules.
Slow and Steady probably works about 1% of 1% of the time in love, and by then you've both taken it so slowly that your divorced with two kids finally going 'ahhhh' so that's the person i should be with.
And I have to go with CrazyFlamer, you're getting too close to 'friends' territory.
And that is BAD!
You can still tread carefully for everyones feelings AND make your intentions known, at least on the subconscious level.
Now is the time to play hard to get. Withdraw from the situation. Do things that might make her (or anyone else) want you, but don't hang around her too much. In fact, make an exercise of avoiding her, even if for a short time.
If she starts coming to you more often, you'll know you've got a chance. If not, well maybe it was never meant to be and hopefully al this time you've spent 'bettering yourself' has actually bettered yourself.
If she starts coming around, be friendly, but non-commital. Keep with this until there seems to be a significant connection. Not just a friendly one.
It's not games, it's not being mean. It's just standing up for your emotional self and keeping things open. You're not walking away from someone who has a huge interest in you, you're not walking away from someone who has professed their love to you so you can gain the upper hand. You don't have an option with her right now anyway. It sounds like you've tried what you could.
Step back, and don't be 'that friend guy'. I know, if you are pining for her, it's hard to do that, but believe me. It doesn't help if your pining for her and she shows no interest anyway. Then you become 'obsession guy' or 'doormat guy'.
So don't stress, and have a little fun being the 'hard to get guy'.