[Gaskal]

Around the League Report

Spoiler!

Pregame Jitters

FYI Calgary fans, Stars GDTs are mostly depressing exercises in masochism and self immolation. Have fun.

Welcome to Dallas Stars hockey, where the lines are made up and the points don't matter!

Heart ... Energy ... and maybe a couple of goals. Then all my bitching over the past 4 games will be forgotten.

I keep hearing the term "switch" being thrown around

So I’m channeling the blonde androgynous character from the original Matrix
I’m calling upon Bob Burnquist’s skating style
I’m listening the Will Smith’s hit single from 2005
And I’m turning the lights on.

I don’t know if this mythical switch is indeed real, but if so, I hope they’ve flipped it. Let’s go Stars!

Kinda confused to as to why so many people view the Flames as the favorites in this.

I don’t think it’ll be a blowout but I thought we clearly had at least a slight margin between the two teams.

Whew, just barely got my drink mixed up in time. Let's do this thing.

Matty draws a PP and punches Perry in the face

Weak penalty. Should never be called in the playoffs.

Radulov shouldn't have been doing that but it was a total sell job by guess who.

Great job there Rads

How does some with a rep like Tkachuk get that call?

Old pest vs young pest. Neither guy particularly good at fighting. At this point in their careers I'll take the trade off.

Fine. Perry did something.
Now everyone else do something ffs

Dube vs Dobby

Down by one. Right where we want them.

#### i forgot about Lucic

Why is Lucic a faceoff specialist and an offensive dynamo all of a sudden? Wtf

Launch Sekera into the sun, please.

Sorry, not to harp on this...
Rads barely touches !Tkachuk and he flops, Minor
Dube preforms a textbook boarding major and (apparently) injures Dickenson and its a minor...

WHO THE #### IS DUBE!?

Wasn't Dube drafted with a pick the Stars traded for Kris Russell?

Did they say Dube was drafted with one of the picks they got in the Russell trade? Somehow that trade is still haunting us

That sucks... But it was a beauty – no chance for Dobby on that one.

This isn't very fun.

A New Cowboy in Town

FKACHUK TKACHUK

Anyone else watching for a high skate from Tkachuk?

What the hell is wrong with Tkachuk's hair

I would love Big Rig to take Tkachuk out.

So who goes after Tkachuk first, Benn, Perry, Oleksiak, Or Johns?

Tachuk
Why no embellishment

Tkachuk? More like Tkadumb####!

Tkachuk clips his toenails over the carpet and doesn’t pick them up

Dube vs Dobby, Part II

is someone gonna call security on the homeless man on the ice who keeps scoring on us

WHO THE #### IS THIS HOMELESS MAN AND HOW IS HE SCORING AGAINST US

Calgary is winning because their beard game is stronger.

Oh come on making them look like mario lemieuxs

sekera in full stride just getting ####ing dogwalked lmao. Terrible defense

this team is complete and utter trash. ####ing ridiculous how bad we are. what a ####ing joke.

Twice now that Dallas’ highest paid defenseman has been caught completely flat footed.

Sekera: “Guess I’ll just stand here”

Speaking of slowness... Sekera looked like me out there.

Can we get rid of Sekera now?

Can we seriously break up the derp pair of Johns and Sekera?

As expected.

I love that almost every comment is bitching about Sekera. Please get him off the ####ing ice! I want Hanley in

I want someone to smash Dube. He needs to be put in his place.

Average roster put in the hands of a subpar coach trying to implement the previous coaches system, they really should have just gotten a coach during the break

Poor Dobby
First playoff game and he gets Sekera’d

#### me, this team sucks.

Sekera just turnstiled. Turn the puck over and fall offside literally 5 seconds prior to that. This team STINKS. Time to come to terms with that. Our head coach is the worst in the NHL. I can’t think of one worse name.

This coaching lines are horrific
The FCC line is our… (Gulp) Is our… (Oh god) Is our best line… God that hurt to type!!!!

Also can someone SMASH DUBE!!!

Hate ended with tkachuk, Dube now my enemy

Dube is now the Stars' daddy

Beseeching the Hockey Gods

Our Mooterus who art in American Airlines Center, hallowed be thy name. Thy wins will come. Thy will be done, on ice as it is in practice. Give us this day our daily goals; and forgive our penalties and turnovers, as we check those who trespass against us; and lead us not into being offside, but deliver us from icings and injuries.
In The name of Hieskanen, Hintz, Gurianov, and Dobby, we pray,
Amen

Amoo.

Let's get Sekera's ice time down to about 2:30 TOI for this whole series. Thanks hockey gods.

Tilted Ice

“Oh wow y’all didn’t suck in the first minute of the game this time”
My fiancée who doesn’t watch Stars at all

So what do you do when your #### team is coached to play all their offense off the boards and every team in the league’s game plan is to play defense by driving the puck to the boards?

oh I see we've chosen the "tripping over our dicks" stat today. Sweet, boys

How hard is it to get the puck out of your own zone.

It's Sekera and Johns. We're lucky they ever did

Comeau f***ing stinks lmao

They are connecting at 75% or so
To the other team… And it’s hemming us in time and again. Puck possession looks really poor right now.

Let's stand around for 2 minutes.

Instead of shoveling a panicked backhander into the crease, Gurianov needs to take it behind the net and look for a real pass option.

This start isn’t inspiring much confidence

Do we even have a high danger scoring chance?

This team is so mediocre

10 f***ed up passes in a row.. this team is just bad

I hate how this team just can not pass for about 5 minutes a period

I'm glad I'm not playing my drinking game. This could get bad. And sick. Coz this team sucks. They suck, they really, really, suck!

We’re just not a dangerous team at ####ing all

It’s not that we can’t finish, it’s that all of our shots are ####ing 60 foot prayers from the blue line that need a bad rebound or deflection. That’s why 50% of our shots are just blocked harmlessly. It’s puke hockey. It’s gross to watch, it really is. This power play it’s more evident that it ever has been.

Is it coaching? the Players? Feels like the coaching is letting this team down, need to see more from them, I dunno, maybe they’re jumping through hoops in the locker room, but behind the bench they seem kind of laisse-faire… or the players really don’t feel like playing. They seem to look the same in every game this playoffs. If Bruce Boudreau on the NHL network is pointing out your problems, something gotta be wrong.

Alright boys. Here's the second period gameplan. Benny, Seggy - you're riding pine boys. Get comfy. FCC get ready for 10 minutes of TOI you're double shifting. Guri, Hintz & Dicky. You're 2nd. Pavs, Perry, Janny - Do something. Rads - Zamboni driver is down - EBUD situation. Hit it.

A surprising, but brief, turnaround

They actually scored?

Duh **** just happened

There's a 2. f***ing witchcraft or some ####

They potted two, huh... So, what they’re saying is……that I should leave the room and prepare dinner and not watch this. It’s been my fault all along…

Benn? Really? Huh.

Talbot felt sorry for us

The net? We’ll shoot at it, kinda

so I’ve been practicing my Jamie Benn impression
we just need to get pucks in deep go hard to the net and uhh just play our game. I think we’ve been working on things in practice and we know what we need to do, it’s just a matter of going out there and executing.

I have low expectations, even when we're on the board. I just hope this sparks something with these losers

Razzmatazz Jazz

Oh come on

Suckera again?

If sekera was a rookie his ass would have been benched by now. 2 of the 3 goals against are on sekera

####ing #### Sekera!!!! God dammit Bones Are you that much of a ####ing idiot.. Sorry for language

Suckera with the hat trick... Or is that the Golden Sombrero?

Sekera is a f***ing pylon

SEKERA IS SO ####ING USELESS

Sekera Is The Flames MVP
Good Lord, he will be one of the stars of the game, but not for his own team!!

Just when they give us some hope..... #Starsing

Bishop would have had that

Can we all agree that sekera has just been bad?

I will beat this horse until it disintegrates

sekera just inviting everyone over to piss on him I guess

Sekera watching Pavelski get checked and doing nothing when they grab the puck 2 feet away from him sums up his play in 5 seconds. Does he just do this to spite us?

Sekera has got to have pictures of Nill butt####ing a teddy bear to not be benched at this point.

Delay of Game

Giordano giving them a chance.

Gio saw that Dobby was wanting off the ice so he made it easy.

So, that's a thing... …but what do they do with this freakin’ gift?

6 on 4 now or never, boys.

Or, you know, win the next 4 games, so now or later, is fine, but would much prefer now

This game is ####ing dragging and the Stars are just ####ing dumping the puck and time away

Stop that ####ing cross crease play
Shoot from the middle jesus

Jesus couldn't score in this system... …even with Mario and Gretzky on his line.

Man those last 5 mins or so we’re ugly Took a 6 on 4 for us to even get in the zone.

Sekera didn't seem to realize he was being taken on until it was over

Coming Up Short

This entire organization from top to bottom sticks with things that don't work for far too long

It’s like they’re afraid to make a change because that would mean taking an unknown risk and what they are currently doing might just be one or two games away from finally "clicking." Thus, nothing ever changes. Same players doing the same things game in and game out, same system. same everything. The first law. The direction of this team will NOT change unless change is initiated.

2 fluke goals from another well deserved shut out.

Both goals were flukes

We deserved to be shutout today. And we will at least one more time this series

Is that the same Rieder who single handedly kept the oilers out of the postseason?

3 high danger scoring chances

Pathetic effort.

Well, at the very least if nothing else we’ll finally get to say “we beat St. Louis in our final meeting of the playoffs”

Old Friends

What a F**** dive by Tkachuk good lord

And that dive results in a goal

lol. Lucic with the best pass of his life

“Milan Lucic has been phenomenal for the Calgary Flames” - NBC sports

That’s some f***ing nightmare fuel.

What is this ? The “We love Lucic” channel ?

Didn't think I could dislike Lucic more, but here we are!

*Looks at boxscore*

So f***ing done with this #### stain of a year

Sekeras looking like a 78 Córdoba out there

I hate cheering for Perry yet again.

Sekera has been garbage. Gets walked and now Kriss Russells one in

Guess I'm not allowed to watch the Flames game.

They score every time I switch to it.

Well pretty sure the Flames will be moving onto the 2nd round.

The Stars are playing like the Oilers.

What happened to Benn? He was so good a few years ago

Oh look, they injured someone already.

Flames already injure a star who goes down the tunnel from a cross check from behind. You can't make this up

Dallas is handed a golden opportunity late and they do nothing with it .


Pathetic.

What a pathetic effort by Dallas.

The Flames and Canucks have won a combined 5 games in a row .

During that span, the Oilers lost two in a row and were eliminated.


When will this misery end.