One thing though Textcritic, and I don't like even really implying that it may be the case but it is the purpose of this thread, but one family believes your son is an instigator of trouble, while another family is getting into yelling matches with him while you're trying to diffuse the situation. It certainly could be simply bad luck. It could also be that your son is...well a typical 16 year old. They aren't always the most Saint-like.
So is the family just paranoid? Do they have this view of all their kid's friends, or just your son? If just your son, why?
Are your neighbours really that crazy that they're waiting in the shadows to grab the ball before your sons can even get to it? And willing to escalate this all simply because a ball was in their driveway for a second?
Might be worth it to approach your neighbour without your children there to see what really happened from your neighbours' perspective. It might be as simple as they are absolute nutcases who stole a basketball from some kids because it landed on their driveway. Which at least you get your answer confirmed, you're not the #######, they are.
But if they have a different perspective, like simply for example, your children mouthing them off before this incident or continuously entering their yard after being told not to, you might not want to dismiss it completely.
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