[sempuki]

Brendan [Burke] and I became friends, and it was such a relief, because I could finally tell somebody I was gay. I could also talk to somebody about hockey. I finally had somebody I could talk to about my breakup, you know? It was the first time I’d been truly in love, and I’m heartbroken, and I have nobody to talk to. I’m also depressed and dealing with a lot of stuff on top of that, and from the age of 17 or 18 until I was 23, I had suicide attempts, suicidal thoughts. I was drinking heavily. And now my only friend who knows everything, I had this one friend, and it was Brendan.


And then one day, Brendan sent me a text message. And it said, “I can’t wait for the day that you’re out to your family like I am to mine.” And I didn’t answer him. [...] I was afraid that, if they knew, they’d become more sensitive to the language used in locker rooms and around the game and stand up to it. And in the process, I would be outed, which would jeopardize any opportunity I had moving forward.


So when Brendan said that, I didn’t answer him. And two days later he passed away in a car accident. Those ended up being the last words he ever said to me. That’s why I speak.

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