Quote:
Originally Posted by curves2000
Well I must say it has been really interesting reading all these posts for a thread that I had started. Thank you to all who offered some advice, perspective and some good humor. A couple of points I wanted to clarify and expand on so people have a better idea as to some specific examples.
1) I am 34 and I am only really going after girls, women, females within 3-4 years of me.
2) It's not really an endless texting and flirting situation I am running into. It's more dying VERY quickly after only a couple of messages, usually within a day or two and sometimes strangely fast.
3) It's not getting ghosted after a date or two, I haven't actually even gone out these women at all. Other than our face to face interactions or first time meeting them, I haven't officially gone out with them.
Like I had said in previous posts, it's not so much of a problem I am experiencing, more along of a TREND I am seeing. I am having a tough time differentiating why a couple of these girls are ghosting me and others are very interested and thrilled. I am not doing anything different.
A couple of quick examples: I was at a wedding and at the same table was another women who I know but not very well. We talked throughout the evening drinking wine and then the wine was finished at the wedding for all the guests, she was disappointed. I told her I'd like to take her out for a glass sometime and asked for her number. She responded very nicely and with her number written down, great! I messaged her a couple of days later and asked when she was free for a drink and she responded with some excuses of being busy with work and some travel coming up etc. I got blown off right away, I get it, no worries. Why give me your number when I asked?
Another girl who I have liked for a LONG time but was always in a relationship with another guy suddenly became single. A mutual friend who she worked with mentions how interested I am and she passes along her number to him to give to me. I was a little shocked but excited. He straight up says "She's expecting YOUR CALL" In this case I should have called like Captain says but I texted. Asked her out pretty much right away since I actually know her. She ask's why I am interested and than blows me off. Mutual friend is convinced I "screwed it up" and when I show him the messages says "Wow, this b**** is CRAZY, she was adamant about giving you her number"
Another time I was alone at a coffee shop doing some work. The women sitting next to me asked politely if I could watch her purse, iPhone, laptop and other belongings as she needed to go to the washroom. I said yes, no problem. When she came back I asked her why she felt the need to trust a total stranger with such valuables and she said I seemed "like a great guy"
The ensuing conversation which lasted approx 90 minutes can only be described as amazing. It was a very high quality conversation that was deep, understanding, funny and thoughtful. We covered a ton of topics and were really clicking. If this had been a first official date at a coffee shop, this would have been wonderful and rock solid. Propped up by the confidence and click I felt during this conversation, I asked for her number and she gave it and seemed really interested.
When I called her to see if she wanted to go for another coffee she seemed disinterested and cold and blew me off. It was actually this example that kind of was the start of this trend of sometimes getting a number and than have it die very quickly for no apparent reason.
Like I said before, not something I am really concerned with, more perplexed. It's like I never got the memo on getting someone's number and getting blown off or ghosted right away. When I have been on the receiving end of someone's attention and been asked out, I will say sorry but I don't feel the connection. Straight up.
Sorry about another long post but I wanted to provide some greater context.
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Ultimately it doesn't matter why, assuming you don't smell, wear sweatpants and an oilers jersey or send a girl a dick pic with your first text, many, many, many decades ago finding a girl tended to mean asking a girl to dance at a party or club and you got shot down in flames 99 out of 100 times, you just kept banging your head against the wall though because we didn't have internet porn in those days so it was pick up a girl or nothing.
Every girl that has ghosted you had a different reason, from they had a fella already and just liked the attention or they didn't much like you but were being polite or things got busy at work, it doesn't really matter though, move on to the next one.