The Game - by: Neil Strauss
Wookie, I just finished a novel by Neil Strauss, who is a writer for Rolling Stone magazine. It is called "The Game" and is the true story about himself and how he developed from a socially awkward kid from high school who had never kissed a girl to something referred to as a PUA (Pick Up Artist). This book is a classic if you want great advice on how meet women and have them instantly attracted to you. I already have a girlfriend, but it's a great read, and a lot of what he says makes sense. If you have a basic sense of human motivations and what creates desire, you should read this book. He eventually transforms into a machine that other guys mimic in order to try and pick up girls, because of his success at it.
Anyways I'll talk about some of the things he refers to here that could help you out.
Negs
Somebody in this thread already discussed this, but it's absolutely true. Girls are attracted to guys that are not necessarily extremely cocky, but confident. I am assuming you already have this characteristic, based on what you've said, so your a step ahead. Girls don't want a nice guy to be their boyfriend, they want a guy who is a challenge to acquire. It's so true, and I bet you'll meet loads of people that try being nice to girls and don't get anywhere. Girls are hyprocits this way. They claim they want a nice guy, but then don't date them. What's the point of that? A NEG is what Strauss refers to as the perfect way to establish that you don't want to be a LJBF (Let's Just be Friends). It's a comment that keeps the girl wondering if your actually attracted to her. It's not an insult, but it isn't a nice thing either. It would be like saying "Wow your hair looks kind of messy today, is it always like that?" This works especially well when the girl is in a group. I realise in your situation she won't be, so this probably isn't applicable. But if there is a girl say, in a club, with a group of friends, the idea is to go up to them and ask them a question with a wingman or whatever random idea you can think of. At first you ignore the girl your interested in, because typically she'll be the most attractive or interesting looking. She is probably used to being hit on all the time, so if you pretend to be interested in her friends- she wonders why and immediately is intrigued. This also serves the purpose of qualifying yourself with her friends. Eventually you neg her after a couple minutes. If she says something you might say "wow your a loud talker" or something like that. You want to make it sound like your not trying to insult her, but that it's just an observation. She will be even more intrigued. After you neg her, you talk to her a bit and you're going to want to look for an IOI (Indicator of Interest). This can be a range of things, such as particular statements, her general appeal towards you, if she seems like she's into you, if she every so often touches your arm or looks you in your eyes, etc. After 3 IOI's your essentially "in" and can ask for a number, or a date, or whatever.
Making an entrance and presence
Another point Strauss makes is that when you enter a place, you should always enter the room smiling. You want to appear like you are a fun guy to be around. You want to appear like you are confident in yourself, and your abilities. You want them to notice you. Strauss claims that "Peacock Theory" (dressing almost in wild clothing to ensure you catch their attention) works marvelously. He claims it gives you an appearance that isn't just the regular same old designer clothes, you are gauranteed to be noticed. Some girls would like to tell you that appearance doesn't matter, but they and we all know it's a lie. Time to be honest. Appearance does matter, but probably not to the extent guys think it does. Make sure you don't look like you haven't showered in 3 years but also know that a lot of getting the girl relies on what you say, and how you interact with her. Smiling is a big key to success, everybody likes to be around happy people.
I could go on with more acronym's and whatnot, but just know that asking her out when she's at work is a non-issue. It's likely the only time you'll see her in a normal setting, instead of making the scene something uncomfortable like telling her you'll go back when she's done. That seems more creepy to me then actually asking her out at the pool, at least if it's at the pool, your there for a reason and it doesn't seem so completely and blatantly obvious. Just be natural, be fun, and then at the end tell her she's hilarious and you'd like to go out sometime for a drink or whatever. Also, finally, act fast. You don't know when she will be picked up some other time (if she's even single..) and if you wait to long your window of opportunity will close! Good luck.
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