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Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
To be honest, I got some terrific advice from people on this board.
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This board and it's search function are almost, but not quite my go-to these days for advice.
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Now, not to sound cruel here. But the bottom line on relationship counseling only works if both sides are open to communication and change and saving the relationship. If you're convinced that the other half is agreeing to go to either go through the motions of it, or to try to take that rock off of his/her ankle and tie it around yours and make you the bad guy, then before you go through that motion ask. Ask what they believe is going to come out of this, ask if there's any chance of fixing this. And if there's not and she's pretty much committed to leaving. Fore go the counseling and get help for yourself and be a little selfish.
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So very much this. Both parties have to legit want to work at it. I've got a buddy going through this, and he wants to work at it, but his soon-to-be-ex doesn't want anything to do with him.
Sometimes, as painful as it is (and speaking as someone who's been down the divorce road himself) you just have to cut your losses and look out for yourself.
As always, if you have overwhelming feelings of grief or just need someone to talk to right away, the Distress Centre can be both phoned ((403.266.HELP (4357)) or access through online chat, which is helpful. Folks 'diss' it at the 'new wave' way, but sometimes, it's easier to type stuff down than it is to get it past the raw lump in your throat.