For hotmail, I just set it so that I blacklist (mark as spam) everything that comes to my hotmail account, that isn't someone I know.
Periodically I then check my junk mail folder, to see if anything got set as spam. If so, I tell hotmail to send email from that person to my inbox.
Bit of a pain to setup at first, but once it is done, works very nicely.
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"Opinions are like demo tapes, and I don't want to hear yours" -- Stephen Colbert
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