[Steve Bozek]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Here's the dream


At the start of training camp, Nurse still holds out, his agent goes public with the now historical "It will be a cold day in hell before my client signs for anything less then $7 million bucks long term of $5.5 on a bridge deal of 2 years, he then proceeds to drop the mic

Lucic turns up at training camp fatter and slower then ever "No seriously coach I drank these weight loss shakes every day" T-Mac educates him that in no way are shakes from McDonalds weight loss shakes, and then tells him to waddle his 450 lb butt to the Sauna, this is the last we see of Lucic until April.

Ty Rattie completely fails on McDavids wing. Pool Party moves up to the first line and McDavid ricochets 30 goals off of him.

In November, the Oilers announce a new deal for Nurse at 6 million bucks for 1 year "F them" Nurse stated in an inteview "They saw how much their blueline sucked without the Nurse" From now on Nurse refers to himself in the third person.

RNH is traded for a second round draft pick, a box of crusty donuts and a prospect from Lower East Mongolia who posted a video of himself on youtube doing fancy tricks with a stick and a tennis ball.

The season ends, Lucic is found crawling across the dressing room weighing 138 pounds after being locked in the Sauna for the past 8 months. He talks about a terrible hallucination where he was playing for the Oilers. When he finds out its true he crawls back into the Sauna and locks the doors . . . from the inside

McDavid comes out with his agent, his parents and his spiritual advisor on a special 2 hour hockey night in Canada tersely called "The Wrath of Con .. . nor". At the end of his special he looks at the camera and demands that his talent be sent to Arizona

Draisaitl announces his retirement so he can pursue his love of acting and burgers. He secures a part in a remake of Hogan's heros, he also announces that hes purchased a Hulkaburger franchise.

Poolparty's agent comes out and states that his client is every bit as good as Connor McDavid the exceptional Arizona Coyotes Center, and as the new face of the Oilers His client demands the same pay as McDavid, he then thumps Poolparty on the shoulder and murmers "Lets Go". When new GM Keven Lowe demands to know why his client is worth that much, Poolparty's agent pulls a tennis ball out of his pocket and replies that he's holding a thermal detonator.

Great to see the Captain back in mid-season form!