[Textcritic]

Originally Posted by Kipper is King

https://edmontonjournal.com/sports/h...uy-is-edmonton

This might be the most embarrassing column of David Staples's storied basement-blogging career:

Originally Posted by David Staples

"It can be that a smaller, more industrial and northern city can attain a certain mystique and be a massive draw in sports, as big as a team in any other city. Exhibit A in this is Manchester and Manchester United. United is one of the biggest sports teams on earth. ManU rivals teams in every other European city for value and popularity. When Manchester United is on TV, the entire world watches. It’s done this by having sustained success and also by being something of an exemplar of rugged, aggressive but also successful British soccer, at least in the popular imagination.
"The Oilers were on this same path to massive popularity in the 1980s, then owner Peter Pocklington sold away Wayne Gretzky and Mark Messier. If that had not happened, the Oilers might well have won three or four more Stanley Cups in the 1990s and now be seen as the Manchester United of the hockey world...
"There’s a chance that with players like McDavid, Leon Draisaitl and others that Edmonton can get winning again and build up a certain mystique and widespread popularity around this current Oilers team...smaller market teams can grab the attention of the sporting world. The Oilers have that chance."

"The memory of the Gretzky and the 1980s success is fading, but there’s a lingering mystique around the franchise, a narrative already in place about cold, isolated Edmonton burning hot with the purest of hockey experiences because of a great team led to great heights by a generational superstar. Got something of a right to it, no? That fuse can be lit again and that fairy tale story can again take centre stage in the hockey world. I’ll argue it would be almost as good for the NHL as it is for Edmonton."

My god. What drivel.

My take:

1. Edmonton is no good.
2. Comparing Canada's armpit to the second largest metropolis in the United Kingdom is beyond laughable. Comparing the Edmonton Oilers to the Manchester United—perhaps the most storied and recognizable sports franchise in the entire world—defies any semblance of reason.
3. Edmonton's memories of Gretzky and the 1980s success is absolutely NOT fading. Good lord. If anything, these memories are becoming fabrications of overactive imaginations that have been starved of success for such a long time there is nothing left to grasp onto.
4. There is so much cheese in this blog-post that it practically dwarfs the surplus of dairy products in the US.
5. David Staples is a cartoon character. I am starting to doubt that he is actually a real person.