Quote:
Originally Posted by The Familia
Just got married this summer. We had a 5 course sit down meal, all night open bar, cocktail hor’dourves, elaborate midnight snack buffet, and Prosecco bar at a very classy venue. I don’t really care if people think I’m being greedy, but I feel it is an insult and a slap in the face for a couple to give literally a $40 check for the both of them. Let’s be real here. People blow $40 daily on useless #### like beer and junk food without a second thought, yet they can’t afford $100 to give a close friend/relative on the most important day of their lives that may help set them up for the immediate future? Especially with up to a years notice? They just received roughly $150 worth of free food and booze not to mention entertainment and all they could muster is $20 per person? To me that is a slap in the face.
I wouldn’t have the balls to put my name down on a wedding card and only leave $40. I’d be embarrassed. My minimum is at least $100 (per guest) and it goes up depending on how close I am to the couple and the presentation of the wedding itself (open bar vs. cash bar). Thankfully most of our guests are educated in wedding etiquette and were very generous.
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Holy crap. Can I be your friend? Where do I sign up?
I’m wondering where expectations for gifts started to come into play at all, let alone the CP apparently universal demand of $200 for a couple. When I first started reading this thread I thought people were being a bit over the top with the whole “$200 minimum” crap. Turns out that seems to be the norm. But what’s funny is that most groups of friends get married around the same time. One summer I had 5 frickin weddings to go to. So I’m supposed to just cash out $1,000 then “minimum” ��
Re-read your post and tell me it doesn’t come off as one of the most entitled things on earth. The fact that anybody got you a gift, period- is generous. We had people come to our wedding and not even give us a gift and you know what? We honestly didn’t care because what we really valued was them just being a part of our day and being there.
We didn’t get married to “set ourselves up” or use it as a financial launching pad. We got married because we actually kind of moderately liked each other enough to live in a dwelling cohabitually. So we wanted to celebrate that with friends or family.
Now I understand that gifts are customary, but who on earth said that the gifts need to be a financial minimum threshold to cover costs?!? YOUR the one who wants to get married. YOUR the one who wants to throw a party. YOUR the one who is creating all these “costs that need to be covered” so sorry why the #### are you expecting all these other people to cover you? If I go buy a new car should I send my friends and family an invoice asking them to chip in?
Was at a wedding in Victoria last weekend. We got into this very conversation as to what a large group of us friends got the couple. Guess what? Almost to a couple everybody gave gifts of approximate value $100. Not CP’s cheap skate minimum threshold $200. These are all people with decent jobs and careers and who I don’t think most would be called “cheap”. And I can’t imagine it’ll insult the bride and groom and I can’t imagine I’ll give a rats ass if it does quite frankly because that was the gift we could afford to give them and felt like giving them.
When did weddings become so stupid? Sliver has it absolutely bang on, if you can’t afford to absorb certain costs, well, guess what? That isn’t your guests problem so why are you making it theirs?? And no, sorry, it doesn’t dictate what I think of my relationships because I put arbitrary cash values on them. People can interpret whatever they want but at the end of the day my family and friends know I love them because I- here’s a concept for you- tell them. If they come and are pissed because they feel I didn’t give them enough cash at their stupid party well then I guess they probably aren’t the best of friends anyway. People who choose friends based on crap like that can get ####ed.