Quote:
Originally Posted by dobbles
Love the thread. We are 100% shared. My wife and I have been together 14 years since college and neither of us had anything to begin with. She now make more than me. (30% maybe?) But I also worked while she was in grad school and paid for all expenses so she could focus on school and not have a job. I do 100% manage the money in terms of paying the bills and keeping an eye on how accounts are doing, but thats purely from a functional perspective since I had to manage the finances our first few years anyways.
Put me in the camp that just doesn't 'get' doing the split accounts. I see two problems:
First, this may not be as important before kids are involved, but is there really any money that should be discretionary and totally free to blow on whatever? I'm not saying all income should go on paying down the mortgage and college funds, but I could not with a straight face say to my wife or kids (who are too young to know wtf I am saying but you get the point) that "daddy spent way too much money on a harley or hookers or blow because it was his money and you guys don't get a say." Yes, I know that is a pretty hyperbolic example. But for our family we discuss any financial decisions over a couple hundred bucks. Because that money may be better allocated towards paying down the mortgage or student loans.
Additionally, if we had split accounts and wanted to do something like a vacation that was mentioned a few posts back, what happens if I have already blown all my money? If I am truly bad with money, having my own account doesn't insulate the shared expenses. Then the two choices are the spouse covers the whole thing and its no longer a shared expense, or I have to give up some of my own money that I wanted to spend on something else and its no longer mine to do with.
For me, I just don't see the upside to splitting. Is it just so I can blow money on stupid stuff without feeling as guilty?
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For us its not about just getting to do whatever you want with your money. We save. We save for college. Kids are 11 and 9.
Its just communication. We need to buy a $2500 generator? We talk about it and come up with a plan to get it. We want to go on a vacation? We talk and come up with a plan to do it. Having separate accounts doesn't mean that we don't have to discuss big purchases. Just because we don't have a joint account doesn't just mean I don't have responsibilities and I will just go buy a Harley without talking to my family.
I can say I don't "get" a joint account. Is there no trust in your relationship and you SO needs to manage your every penny? Do you have a joint FB? This is probably an equally as wrong way to look at it.