[CliffFletcher]

Pool everything. Who makes how much is not a factor in anything. When one of us gets a bonus or a raise we don't even think of it as our own money, it just goes into the pot. We have a certain amount we can each spend on discretionary stuff. It's modest and doesn't cause any fights.

We were broke when we got married and lived hand to mouth. Neither had what you'd call a career, and sometimes I made more and sometimes my wife did. Neither of us had an opportunity to develop expensive hobbies or habits before we became a unit.

I'd guess most couples who have separate accounts and finances got married later, or are on their second marriages. To each their own. I do have to raise my eyebrows, though, at a couple where one who has substantially higher incomes gets substantially higher discretionary spending than the other.

Age may also be a factor. My wife and I grew up in an era when half of moms still stayed home and didn't work. It's hard to imagine families where dad got to spend way more on himself than mom because he made a good salary and she made nothing.