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Old 05-12-2018, 11:30 AM   #937
CliffFletcher
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Join Date: May 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GGG View Post
I'd disagree that it's been devalued as a result of feminism. (Maybe 70/80s feminism, the modern geoups are much more backing choice). I think instead that it's become a luxury that most people can't afford so therefore is looked at with derision.
Then they don't understand the consequences of the those choices, because they keep banging on about the gender pay gap when it's mostly a matter of choice.

And the choice around child-rearing isn't to work or not to work. The choices run the gamut of:

A) Pursue an intensely time and responsibility heavy career, sacrificing everything to climbing the greasy pole of success.

B) Pursue a professional career that demands a lot of time, leaving little for home or family life.

C) Take a 9-5 job, passing up opportunities for advancement or greater pay if they interfere with home life.

D) Take a year off after each of the kids are born, and then resume 9-5 work.

E) Work a part-time job to bring in money, while devoting most of your time to family life.

F) Full-time dedication to home and family life.

There are many variations in how two-parent families configure themselves, depending on their values and circumstances.

As I've already noted, the discussion around women and pay and gender roles in society is dominated by childless and career-oriented women. They personally regard careers as where people get satisfaction in life, and honestly can't imagine child-rearing as being anything but a unfulfilling chore. But it turns out that the world looks very different when you're 38 and you have kids than it did when you're 28 and climbing the career ladder. Values and priorities change.

Quote:
Originally Posted by GGG View Post
Another area where Men have failed is increasing the societal acceptance of men staying home. You can see it in the way this discussion has carried out had been should a women choose wot work rather than should both parents. The whole discussion around whose choice and how it's made is evidence ofnthese societal structures that influence decision making.
While I think the corporate world still has a ways to go in making paternity leave an option that won't limit your career, I don't see men in general denigrating parenting. I have a couple close buddies who were the primary caregivers for their kids when they were young, and none of the guys we know thought less of them. If anything, they found it tough to fit into the all-mom coffee clubs and play groups.

And let's not ignore the fact that most women seek out mates with higher earning-power. There's a reason there's a wide income gap (that nobody talks about) between married men and single men, even when you account for age.
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