Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community - View Single Post - [News] How to Fix the NHL, a League That's Broken

Cheese · 03-16-2018, 06:54 AM

An article I ran across this morning from Vice Sports Dave Lozo...ya ya I know. Thought it would be good for a laugh and to lighten things up a bit.

https://sports.vice.com/en_ca/articl...e-thats-broken

1) Get rid of the salary cap. The salary cap unfairly depresses salaries and creates parity, the most boring thing in sports. I used to be a very big proponent of salary caps so everything would be "fair," but I was an idiot. If you own a team and want to spend $100 million on it, let's go. Can't keep up with the spending? Too bad, find a new way to win. I could do 10,000 words alone on this but a salary cap hinders a lot of fun things in sports, like trades, free agency, and the ability to earn so much money that I can eventually buy the Miami Marlins after I retire.

8) No more offside. This also means no more offside reviews. Everyone is happy. Why do we even have offside? If I could go back in time, I'm killing Hitler and kidnapping the guy in 1898 or whenever who was so passionate about an offside line. It's not like the offside line makes the game safer; it's there to give the defense an advantage against oncoming opponents. Why?
Removing offside is another way to get some whistles out of the game and help with flow.

23) Ban the shootout. Earlier, when I said one point for a shootout win or loss, I was lying, because the shootout has been abolished and we now play 3-on-3 until someone scores. Personally, I think 3-on-3 is as dumb or dumber than shootouts, but you people seem to like it so let's compromise and play 3-on-3 until someone scores to avoid shootouts.

24) Overtime goes until someone scores. Yeah, like it says. If you can play 5-on-5 in the playoffs until 1 AM, you can play beyond five minutes at 3-on-3 in the regular season.

32) Hand passes are legal everywhere. What percentage of hand pass whistles are for actual hand passes? Most of them are just accidental deflections and redirections with the glove that happen to go to a teammate in the neutral zone. These whistles are also flow killers. I understand we have to get to commercial breaks three times per period so if we adopt all my rules we can go to commercial after goals when necessary.

36) NBC can't broadcast games anymore. We gave it a try. Time to find someone else willing to air this sport in America. Doesn't matter who. Split the package between Lifetime and TruTV. Stream games on Pornhub. I do not give a ####.

03-16-2018, 06:54 AM	#1
Cheese Franchise Player Join Date: Mar 2002 Exp:	How to Fix the NHL, a League That's Broken An article I ran across this morning from Vice Sports Dave Lozo...ya ya I know. Thought it would be good for a laugh and to lighten things up a bit. https://sports.vice.com/en_ca/articl...e-thats-broken 1) Get rid of the salary cap. The salary cap unfairly depresses salaries and creates parity, the most boring thing in sports. I used to be a very big proponent of salary caps so everything would be "fair," but I was an idiot. If you own a team and want to spend $100 million on it, let's go. Can't keep up with the spending? Too bad, find a new way to win. I could do 10,000 words alone on this but a salary cap hinders a lot of fun things in sports, like trades, free agency, and the ability to earn so much money that I can eventually buy the Miami Marlins after I retire. *8) No more offside.* This also means no more offside reviews. Everyone is happy. Why do we even have offside? If I could go back in time, I'm killing Hitler and kidnapping the guy in 1898 or whenever who was so passionate about an offside line. It's not like the offside line makes the game safer; it's there to give the defense an advantage against oncoming opponents. Why? Removing offside is another way to get some whistles out of the game and help with flow. 23) Ban the shootout. Earlier, when I said one point for a shootout win or loss, I was lying, because the shootout has been abolished and we now play 3-on-3 until someone scores. Personally, I think 3-on-3 is as dumb or dumber than shootouts, but you people seem to like it so let's compromise and play 3-on-3 until someone scores to avoid shootouts. 24) Overtime goes until someone scores. Yeah, like it says. If you can play 5-on-5 in the playoffs until 1 AM, you can play beyond five minutes at 3-on-3 in the regular season. 32) Hand passes are legal everywhere. What percentage of hand pass whistles are for actual hand passes? Most of them are just accidental deflections and redirections with the glove that happen to go to a teammate in the neutral zone. These whistles are also flow killers. I understand we have to get to commercial breaks three times per period so if we adopt all my rules we can go to commercial after goals when necessary. 36) NBC can't broadcast games anymore. We gave it a try. Time to find someone else willing to air this sport in America. Doesn't matter who. Split the package between Lifetime and TruTV. Stream games on Pornhub. I do not give a ####. Last edited by Cheese; 03-16-2018 at 06:58 AM.