What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
Why arent koalas actual bears?
They dont meet the koalafications
Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie?
Because he was too far out man!
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?
He had locomotives.
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Old people poke me at weddings and tell me “your next”
So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.''
How do you get 100 old ladies to yell #####?
Have another one of them say bingo.
I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
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