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CaptainCrunch · 01-03-2018, 12:27 PM

Wow those aren't that bold.

Lets try it

10) Edmonton doesn't get the all-star game - They were in consideration until Bettman steps in and says, "they're the equivalent of a sink hole to hockey. Their team stinks and keeps plummeting to the bottom, so we're not going to reward them. Besides, we surveyed our fans and they said that sure Edmonton has a nice rink, but nobody wants to go to Edmonton, we'd rather have the allstar game in New Jersey"

9) Karlsson isn't traded - After a pajama party that included Smores and hot chocolate. Karlsson and the Sens reach a long term discounted deal. "I didn't realize how much fun Eugene is" said Karlsson "I'm staying"

8) Connor McDavid sits out the rest of the season due to a combination of the super flu and the Black Plague - "No really, this time he is sick, and this isn't a thinly veiled tanking strategy" said Chia with his fingers crossed behind his back

7) City of Calgary and the flames reach an arena deal - Nenshi and Edwards come to an agreement during a pajama party at Edward's house. "we had Smores" was the only comment made by Nenshi as the papers were signed.

6) NHL expands to Mars - The NHL announces that the next expansion team will be on Mars and owned by Russian President Putin. "He was very convincing" said Bettman "Plus he paid in gold fillings"

5) Edmonton fires Chia and T-Mac - With two games before the end of a disastrous season the Oilers clean house. They hire Katz son to take over as the GM and President of hockey operations. He hires his best friend Todd Dickey from the chess club as the new coach. "Haters gonna hate, but we are the 1%, now release the hounds" said the new GM

4) Flames don't make the playoffs - wait thats a typo, the Flames don't just make the playoffs, they win the cup.

3) Leon Draisaitl gets punched in the face by Darnell Nurse again - "I'm serious this time" Nurse was quoted as saying "Keep your damn dirty paws off of my woman"

2) Las Vegas Knights Implode - seriously a demolition crew gets the address wrong and blows up their rink with the team in it.

1) Gary Bettman resigns - Takes over the Hulka Burger franchise, promptly locks out all of the employees

01-03-2018, 12:27 PM	#3
CaptainCrunch Norm! Join Date: Jun 2002 Exp:	Wow those aren't that bold. Lets try it 10) Edmonton doesn't get the all-star game - They were in consideration until Bettman steps in and says, "they're the equivalent of a sink hole to hockey. Their team stinks and keeps plummeting to the bottom, so we're not going to reward them. Besides, we surveyed our fans and they said that sure Edmonton has a nice rink, but nobody wants to go to Edmonton, we'd rather have the allstar game in New Jersey" 9) Karlsson isn't traded - After a pajama party that included Smores and hot chocolate. Karlsson and the Sens reach a long term discounted deal. "I didn't realize how much fun Eugene is" said Karlsson "I'm staying" 8) Connor McDavid sits out the rest of the season due to a combination of the super flu and the Black Plague - "No really, this time he is sick, and this isn't a thinly veiled tanking strategy" said Chia with his fingers crossed behind his back 7) City of Calgary and the flames reach an arena deal - Nenshi and Edwards come to an agreement during a pajama party at Edward's house. "we had Smores" was the only comment made by Nenshi as the papers were signed. 6) NHL expands to Mars - The NHL announces that the next expansion team will be on Mars and owned by Russian President Putin. "He was very convincing" said Bettman "Plus he paid in gold fillings" 5) Edmonton fires Chia and T-Mac - With two games before the end of a disastrous season the Oilers clean house. They hire Katz son to take over as the GM and President of hockey operations. He hires his best friend Todd Dickey from the chess club as the new coach. "Haters gonna hate, but we are the 1%, now release the hounds" said the new GM 4) Flames don't make the playoffs - wait thats a typo, the Flames don't just make the playoffs, they win the cup. 3) Leon Draisaitl gets punched in the face by Darnell Nurse again - "I'm serious this time" Nurse was quoted as saying "Keep your damn dirty paws off of my woman" 2) Las Vegas Knights Implode - seriously a demolition crew gets the address wrong and blows up their rink with the team in it. 1) Gary Bettman resigns - Takes over the Hulka Burger franchise, promptly locks out all of the employees __________________ My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings; Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!