Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzz
Well who knows what evidence she had. After 3 years, you would think she would have something? We can spend all day arguing about unknowns, we aren't going to get anywhere. I think part of my point is, and I guess I have to be careful lest I get accused of being a rapist, but how would things ever change if no one came forward? 3 years is a long time to put up with someone putting his hands down your pants. I'm in no way saying it is her fault, and I understand all the things that may work against her if she came forward, but the alternative sounds pretty tough to live with.
|
Calm down there Fuzz.
The point is, you are looking at this completely rationally and don't seem to be giving any thought to how your remarks are the kind that make it difficult for people to come forward. Are your remarks the worst think that can happen to someone who has gone through this sort of thing? No, but they certainly make it harder for a person to come forward, and may make them think that just leaving the job is easier because coming forward isn't worth the hassle.
Questions like why did she take 3 years, and you'd think she'd have some evidence are focused solely on her. Her reasons and timing for coming forward are completely irrelevant. Then saying stuff like "If no one comes forward nothing will change" which is problematic seeing as how it comes after, and then again immediately before asking why it took her 3 years to come forward, which implies she has some culpability for not coming forward sooner.
Then you top it off on the end with saying you understand why she may have not said anything, but finish it off with a pretty big qualifier about how YOU can't imagine the alternative is much better. What you think of the alternatives is irrelevant.
As I've said too many times, I don't think you have malicious intent, I don't think you think these women are at fault. But the way you are talking about it, and the questions you are asking are exactly the kind of things that make women not want to come forward, because they are focused on their conduct, and motivations, rather than the people who did something wrong, or allowed it to happen.