Quote:
Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz
Well yeah, that's exactly my point.
People making comments about coworkers in the lunch room probably isn't appropriate for men or women.
People making comments about a bartender at a work function may or may not be crossing the line.
The difference is context, who is making the comments, and the specifics of the comments.
In my office there are three groups of people:
1) People I can joke around with and don't have to worry about offending
2) People who I know I should be more respectful and careful what I say around
3) People who I'm not sure if they are in group 1 or 2
If you don't know what group they are in, assume they are group 2 until you know for sure, it's not that hard.
For most people, the fact that this issue is coming to light so strongly recently isn't an issue because a lot of us know, or have learned through experience, how to read the room and when various levels of interaction are appropriate (who's in which group).
The people who are taking offence to this issue, or are worried we are moving to a place where were we never say anything to anyone are likely the people who only think there is group 1, or have never figured out the bold part.
To address your specific point about how this situation was different let me ask you this. Were you offended or felt threatened based on what the women said, or are you just upset that they are allowed to say it and you aren't?
If it's the former then you shouldn't treat this any different and should consider discussing it with them and explaining how/why that is.
If it's the latter, then you are exactly the type of person I'm talking about who doesn't understand why there is/should be consideration given to who is making a statement and in what context.
|
At work, when it comes to making comments men and women should be held to the exact same standard. I agree with you on most of what you are saying, context is the difference. Not at work when it comes to making sexual comments. Most men aren't going to say a word about a comment that made them uncomfortable because they are going to get the exact reaction you are presenting here. "Well it's different for women, you're a man you don't feel unsafe." It's not always about feeling "unsafe" it could just be feeling uncomfortable. Lewd comments at work should be a problem for both genders.
I do agree with you that many people need to figure out that there are people you can act differently around, that isn't easy for everyone so they are going to react the way we're talking about here. By shutting down and taking no chances.
They problem is we're making a really big assumption that everyone is capable of reading situations and social cues the same way, they aren't and there needs to be a little less outrage when things aren't a big deal. When it's coworkers where the power dynamic is the same a reasonable response would be to talk to the person that made the comment. Going to the media and trying to get them fired while being outraged is an over the top response.