Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community - View Single Post - Drivers keep hitting large rock in suburban Calgary parking lot

Madman · 12-05-2017, 11:06 AM

Let's get a couple things out of the way right out of the gate.

yes, I'm completely serious about this
no, I'm not trolling

Okay, this is why I don't like rocks:

They are hard. I can see them sitting there being all hard at night and I can see them being hard in the morning. If I walked outside and was hard randomly on a daily basis, the cops would be all over me. Why do rocks get away with it?
They are dangerous - not bear dangerous - but dangerous enough as outlined by the City here. Yes of course your rock isn't, but some are. In fact, there was an incident every day of the year with an agressive rock in Calgary last year. A low-incident year (according to the article), but unacceptable nevertheless. Obviously this only tracks the incidents reported, so it's safe to assume the rates are even higher.
Crap. People simply don't pick up after their rocks and it is absolutely disgusting. Kudos to you if you do, but enough don't that it is an obvious problem.
Urine. I've never seen any rock owner, no matter how responsible, pick up their rock's urine. If I whipped out my schlong in the middle of a park where children were playing to take a leak, people would freak. Let's put the public nudity aspect of that example aside, people would be disgusted that I was peeing where kids were playing. I find it equally disgusting to know and see rocks do this, but it is somehow socially unacceptable to call out a guy for letting his rock piss whereever. It's outrageous, frankly.
They're dirty and they smell bad.

You know, I understand people love their rocks and that's great. And I can also see that it would be unfair to take a rock out of somebody's home - both to the rock and to the owner.

A more realistic solution to this pest problem we have would be a city-funded initiative to crush and tumble every rock in the city, ban the sale/possession of any new rocks, and just wait for the current generation of rocks to return to the earth. Within say 15 years the problem would be solved.

I would be curious to know if anyone else would be interested in this plan. Perhaps we could start a petition or do something to get the ball rolling on this. Obviously it will be a tough thing to achieve, but I think if we are compassionate to the current rock owners, make exceptions for work rocks, etc. this may have legs. It will certainly get support from some people, I'm just not sure how many at this point.

12-05-2017, 11:06 AM	#45
Madman Franchise Player Join Date: Mar 2004 Exp:	plan to ban possession of rocks in Calgary within 15 years Let's get a couple things out of the way right out of the gate. yes, I'm completely serious about this no, I'm not trolling Okay, this is why I don't like rocks: They are hard. I can see them sitting there being all hard at night and I can see them being hard in the morning. If I walked outside and was hard randomly on a daily basis, the cops would be all over me. Why do rocks get away with it? They are dangerous - not bear dangerous - but dangerous enough as outlined by the City here. Yes of course your rock isn't, but some are. In fact, there was an incident every day of the year with an agressive rock in Calgary last year. A low-incident year (according to the article), but unacceptable nevertheless. Obviously this only tracks the incidents reported, so it's safe to assume the rates are even higher. Crap. People simply don't pick up after their rocks and it is absolutely disgusting. Kudos to you if you do, but enough don't that it is an obvious problem. Urine. I've never seen any rock owner, no matter how responsible, pick up their rock's urine. If I whipped out my schlong in the middle of a park where children were playing to take a leak, people would freak. Let's put the public nudity aspect of that example aside, people would be disgusted that I was peeing where kids were playing. I find it equally disgusting to know and see rocks do this, but it is somehow socially unacceptable to call out a guy for letting his rock piss whereever. It's outrageous, frankly. They're dirty and they smell bad. You know, I understand people love their rocks and that's great. And I can also see that it would be unfair to take a rock out of somebody's home - both to the rock and to the owner. A more realistic solution to this pest problem we have would be a city-funded initiative to crush and tumble every rock in the city, ban the sale/possession of any new rocks, and just wait for the current generation of rocks to return to the earth. Within say 15 years the problem would be solved. I would be curious to know if anyone else would be interested in this plan. Perhaps we could start a petition or do something to get the ball rolling on this. Obviously it will be a tough thing to achieve, but I think if we are compassionate to the current rock owners, make exceptions for work rocks, etc. this may have legs. It will certainly get support from some people, I'm just not sure how many at this point.