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Originally Posted by CliffFletcher
You're guilty of simplifying too. People have free will. They make choices. Addiction isn't a binary condition, and it doesn't magically take away all responsibility for your actions.
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Way to miss the point completely. I didn't claim that addiction was some sort of get out of jail free card as you are implying. I said that the desire to assign blame and demonize addicts/drunks/what-have-you was one of the reasons why people end up not getting help. They want to avoid stigma and scrutiny. When all the pearl clutching ramps up (won't someone think of the children, etc.) all it does is encourage people with addiction issues to keep them hidden because they don't want to be seen as the demon. I'm not sure what is so hard to understand about that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CliffFletcher
Here are some people I know:
A) Very social guy who likes to go out and drink. Marriage fell apart and he met a younger woman who is even more social and goes out almost every night. In the divorce settlement, he chose to have his kids only every second weekend so they wouldn't mess with his active social life.
B) Guy with wife and kid who drinks a lot, often alone in his garage. Also drives drunk.
C) Guy who has been heavy pot smoker and drinker since high school. Works as little as possible. Owes every landlord he's had money and now lives in a camper.
Do you think all of those guys are blameless? Hostages to some cognitive behavior dysfunction that they never had any chance to overcome? Is my choice to judge in some of these cases an obstacle to my understanding?
Personally, I don't see any contradiction in saying people need help, but they should also accept responsibility for their behaviour.
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Wow, a lot of words you tried to stuff in my mouth there. I never said addicts were blameless nor have I said that they are hostages to whichever cognitive behaviour dysfunction they engage in. If I wanted to paint an aura of blamelessness I would have trotted out the notion that addiction is a disease. It isn't. Cognitive behaviour dysfunctions can be overcome or managed through strategy and new learned behaviours.
Your choice to judge is an obstacle to your understanding because judgement serves no purpose other than to draw a quick line between right & wrong, good & bad, moral & immoral, etc. In cases of addiction this ends up being a case of "who is to blame for this mess" when the issue is more complex than blame alone. Assigning blame is one of those things humans love to do that does nothing to solve the problem. We love to judge people and place them in little convenient mental categories so we can rate ourselves as to how we compare to them. For addicts, judgement, blame, and stigma are additional obstacles to be overcome and make it harder to recover. Most addicts have trouble being honest with themselves and their families. When they consider the blame and stigma it becomes more likely that they justify their decision to keep themselves hidden and avoid treatment. The addict usually already knows they have messed up; shame can be a big driver in continuing addiction.
At no time did I say there was a contradiction between saying people need help but should also accept responsibility for their behaviour.