My dad never apologized for his ####astic behaviour and the abuse he leveled at me/my siblings, until he was dying of cancer. We had a long talk and he asked forgiveness and I gave it to him - I'd still tell you what he did was awful and abusive and how much of a total bastard he was when he was beating on us and leveling major verbal abuse at us. Different story, I think, when it's a parent or maybe even sibling, than a friend, but even then, I don't think even a parent or sibling deserves anything from me, if they're still turds.
I'm not a huge believer in the whole forgiveness angle. I think it gets used too often to batter people back into something that isn't good for them. There are people who were once in my life whom I'll never forgive. This does not weigh on me in the slightest and if they turned up in this same sort of situation, it would be quite easy to ignore the message completely or simply reply with "Sorry to hear that. I wish you luck in your battle" but offer nothing else, and move on/continue on with my life as I'd lived it the past 15 years.
Sometimes, it's just fine to keep the ties cut, or snip through that little bit still hanging between. 15 years and then suddenly he wants to be buds again because he's dying? As the OP said, had he not gotten cancer, it's most likely he'd not have heard from him. That's not extending friendship - that's a guilt trip, him trying to assuage his own guilt for how he effed the OP over. No thanks.
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