[CaptainCrunch]

I'm going to go where I usually go, because I've been told that I have a shriveled up raisin for a heart anyways and that I am incredibly good at holding a grudge.

But what he is doing is monkey behavior (no not a racist term), if all of your burdens are a monkey sitting on your shoulder, you want to transfer it to someone else.

Because this guy basically dumped on your friendship over money, not once but twice, he was fine about not talking to you, he probably convinced himself that you were the jerk, the idiot, the vindictive bastard, and you know what . . . he lived with that, he wrapped it around himself like a security blanket. He didn't want to rekindle your friendship at all, in fact he probably reveled in the fact that the money held more meaning to him then you.

And then he got sick, and he's seeing the end of the road, and that monkey on his shoulder is getting fatter and fatter, but its not guilt in that monkey, he wants you to feel guilty for throwing away your friendship over money, that's why he didn't say, hey man, I was wrong, I want to make ammends and work to get our friendship back.

He wants you to show up, so you can feel guilty about the past X years that were tossed away over a slight that he probably believes is your fault. He wants that monkey to jump from his shoulder to yours by having you say, "Forget about the money, lets be buddies and I'll hold your hand as you go into the sweet by and by". Then he will feel secure that you will feel guilty about not seeing things his way and that the loss of friendship is on you.

Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm the guy that believes that humanity is over populated with jerks.

So he goes, he never asks for forgiveness from you or tries to make amends and makes you feel guilty and gives you the monkey to carry.

I mean personally I wouldn't go because I'd want to hear an apology not for the money, but for putting money ahead of friendship and doing it twice, so there's no point.

I'd write a note and send it, and tell him that I'm sorry about what you're going through and I hope that he wins his battle and returns to health, but frankly we're not friends, we haven't been friends for a long time, and I'm refuse to take on the guilt over a lost friendship that was over a long time ago.

On top of that, part of the process of dying is to make amends for past acts and wrongs, and to heal pain, not cause more pain. If there's a soul, part of the process of going is to confront the pain that you've caused, and ensure that you're causing no more pain.

What he's doing sounds selfish, he wants to get over his pain and guilt if he has that by making you accept it.

Send the note, and don't go down to see him, it will only cause you pain and resentment, and maybe him pain and resentment if you refuse to take on the responsibility that he wants you to take on.

If he reaches out again, and says he sorry or he wants to make things right, then by all means go and see him and you can do the past is past thing.

Again Black Heart.