Quote:
Originally Posted by PepsiFree
I went into it a bit in my post to Corsi, but it’s about contextualising what you’re saying to someone.
Complimenting someone because you find them attractive is, at it’s base, a selfish thing to do. It seems like you’re doing it for them, but all you’re doing is indicating your own attraction to them. That’s fine in a setting where that is important (dating, and the potential for) but totally unimportant in a professional setting or a setting between strangers. So, contextualise it. Are you just indicating your own attraction to the person? If so, why is that important?
That’s why I state the rule that it should be something you’re comfortable telling both someone you are and are not sexually attracted to. That’s an indicator that the compliment is truly about them, and not about you. It’s also in the way you put the compliment. If you tell someone they look beautiful, that’s an expression of attraction, if you say they look really put-together, that at least can be understood as an expression of appreciation. One is valuable and appropriate in a non-sexual relationship, one is not. Use the right one if you feel you absolutely must say something (but also ask yourself if you really need to say anything at all).
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Good elaboration. That's what I was curious about since in a dating situation where there's potential for the relation to elevate sexually, but perhaps not there yet, I wouldn't figure physical compliments are off grounds since they are a part of the experience.