Quote:
Originally Posted by GreenLantern2814
Personally, I would only use pet names like 'darling', 'honey', or 'sweetheart' with my partner. If a female coworker wants to call me 'babe' or 'darling' or anything, I'd find that unusual bordering on uncomfortable unless she did that to literally everyone. I would submit that, should you be concerned about inadvertently offending a female coworker, you simply call her by her name. If you outrank her, Ms Last Name. Be professional.
In situations where you are fortunate enough to have a woman remark upon your haircut or clothes, you should probably say 'thank you' and leave it at that. I've occasionally noticed my when women in the office have done something to their hair. Often times, several days after the fact - if I do say anything, it's limited to 'did you get your hair done? It looks nice'. I'm only addressing it because it's an obvious change (Somewhat) and I feel it would be rude to never say anything.
Asking yourself 'is this creepy?' is never a bad thing. Asking how you'd feel if someone said X to your daughter. Look them in the eye when you talk to them. Be a human being. And if the hot chick at work is wearing a dynamite top with homewrecker of a skirt, maybe just say a small prayer thanking God for brightening your day, and keep it to yourself. Pretend you've seen a woman before.
I have slept with nearly 10 women in my life. In every single occasion, the boundaries of what was acceptable and what was not were very apparent to all involved. So much so that I have come to believe this about consent: you can tell a woman wants to have sex with you because she's having sex with you. And there are two types of people: the people who understand what I'm saying, and rapists.
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We’re not just talking about sex though. We’re getting as detailed as simple daily compliments. No one ever consents to a compliment. There’s a large gap between “Hey that color looks great on you.” And “wooo look at that ass!!” But is the first one not considered okay? Just seems like pleasant conversation to me. I’m obviously willing to adjust myself if things like that are deemed to make people uncomfortable. It just seems like a bit of an over correction maybe? I mean I’ll compliment another guys shirt or tie or whatever, so is it just a difference because women deal with it so much that it’s at a point of bothersome even when done with taste and innocence?
And in reference to a sexual scenario, I’m not questioning whether or not going beyond those obvious signs is assault. I’m questioning that if those signs do pop up, was I harassing or assaulting in the first place? Example, I’m with a girl on the couch. I Make a move to kiss her when I feel like the opening is there and it seems to be accepted briefly but then she backs away. Fair enough I won’t pursue it beyond that really. But then is the initial kiss being looked at as an unwanted advance?