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curves2000 · 09-25-2017, 07:17 PM

I am a single guy in my early 30's so take what I say with a grain a salt but here are some potential considerations I would look into. Culturally where I am from, divorce is very rare as we believe strongly in the family unit and religiously it's important for families to try and stay together if its at all possible.

1) Are the sources of serious tension in the marriage that difficult to overcome? Are there any potential building blocks to which you can try and rebuild SLOWLY?

2) I am not suggesting YOUR not trying but ensure that your checking off some boxes on what your partner may want changed or altered on your end. Some things can and can't be changed, its a matter if the other person can live with it.

3) I am surprised this isn't ever brought up more but how comfortable are you having your children parented or disciplined by someone else if in the future your current partner finds someone else? I see this all the time and it would personally enrage me to have another man discipline or parent my child if my previous partner remarried or lived with another man.

4) Be open, honest and loving with your partner and ask your self if you will both be happier being separated and than seeing other people? Will you both just end up making the necessary changes with someone else and POTENTIALLY avoided this entire situation with all that it entails? heartache, stress, financial consideration etc?

How many people on CP know people who have lost weight, quit drinking/smoking, gambling, stopped being abusive, worked less, reduced stress and genuinely been more loving and caring to SOMEONE else, rather than their current partner? I know plenty.

I do believe that people should be happy in their marriages as best as possible and if it doesn't work, than end it. I also do believe that a huge portion of divorces could be avoided and I truly believe it should be a last resort, but sadly that's not the case for all.

Sorry about the long post and don't take anything I said with any offense. All the best to you and the family with whatever you decide.

09-25-2017, 07:17 PM	#41
curves2000 First Line Centre Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: Calgary, Canada Exp:	I am a single guy in my early 30's so take what I say with a grain a salt but here are some potential considerations I would look into. Culturally where I am from, divorce is very rare as we believe strongly in the family unit and religiously it's important for families to try and stay together if its at all possible. 1) Are the sources of serious tension in the marriage that difficult to overcome? Are there any potential building blocks to which you can try and rebuild SLOWLY? 2) I am not suggesting YOUR not trying but ensure that your checking off some boxes on what your partner may want changed or altered on your end. Some things can and can't be changed, its a matter if the other person can live with it. 3) I am surprised this isn't ever brought up more but how comfortable are you having your children parented or disciplined by someone else if in the future your current partner finds someone else? I see this all the time and it would personally enrage me to have another man discipline or parent my child if my previous partner remarried or lived with another man. 4) Be open, honest and loving with your partner and ask your self if you will both be happier being separated and than seeing other people? Will you both just end up making the necessary changes with someone else and POTENTIALLY avoided this entire situation with all that it entails? heartache, stress, financial consideration etc? How many people on CP know people who have lost weight, quit drinking/smoking, gambling, stopped being abusive, worked less, reduced stress and genuinely been more loving and caring to SOMEONE else, rather than their current partner? I know plenty. I do believe that people should be happy in their marriages as best as possible and if it doesn't work, than end it. I also do believe that a huge portion of divorces could be avoided and I truly believe it should be a last resort, but sadly that's not the case for all. Sorry about the long post and don't take anything I said with any offense. All the best to you and the family with whatever you decide.