I'd echo a lot of what's been said in here already. I've been through a divorce, and have been married for 8 years now, too. My parents divorced when I was 11. Kids know more than you think...but they get over more/faster, too, if they are allowed to.
The biggest thing, as I can see some folks have said, is communication, and that it's a 2 way street. You can't have one partner doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship all the time. Both people have to want it. If one does and one doesn't...it's really just a matter of time.
As to the kids...no matter how bitter you may end towards her if you do split, don't take it out on the kids. Don't use them as go-betweens. Always consider taking the higher or 'highest' road when it comes to your dealings with her over them. In my line of work, I see way too often ex's for whom the kids are pawns to use against the other ex. It heartbreakingly sad. There are times I have found myself wondering "Wow, why couldn't these two adults act like responsible, caring parents for the 5 minutes they see each other for their kids sake?"
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