[Itse]

If I was to give advice, I'd say this; what ever happens with the marriage happens. What's important is getting back to good, honest communication. Counseling might help or it might not, but in any case you'll need good communication whether you stay married or get a divorce. Ex's can still make each other miserable if they can't communicate, especially if they're trying to share kids.

Make sure the problem is really the marriage and not something else, like people working too hard or never having the chance to do have some fun away from the house and the spouse. Be honest about how you feel and what you think would help, and be fair and really listen when the other person tries to talk about their stuff.

Also, make time to talk about your problems during the day. Lots of married couples only ever really talk after the kids have gone to sleep, and that's a terrible habit. Most likely both are tired at that point, and tired people are just bad at communicating. They get overly emotional and angry and miserable, and have poor memory of what was actually said.