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Originally Posted by Peanut
We don't really have any details. I guess I'm not sure how the last 3 months being excellent is completely derailed by one big fight. And it's not totally clear what y U mean by "going downhill for some time". Downhill because you argue once a quarter, or (presumably) other reasons?
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Yeah, I'm not sure what to make of that either. Judging by the couples I know, if your marriage is happy 75 per cent of the time and unhappy 25 per cent of the time, you're doing pretty well. The notion that marriage is unrelenting happiness (or even contentment) is a fantasy. Especially once kids enter the picture. They're a source of a lot of joy, but also a tremendous amount of stress. I don't know of any marriages that didn't go through a rocky patch when the kids were under 5.
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Originally Posted by djsFlames
When people have kids I always hope it means they're going to give their marriage/relationship everything they've got and more before ever calling it quits. It's one thing to bow out cause you're not happy when you're young, live separate lives and it's easy to walk away and sever those ties. When you've made the commitment of starting a family, at that point you shouldn't be allowed to just walk away unless you've done everything humanly possible to keep that family intact. Because at that point it's about more than just you, it's about the kids.
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And even if you do get divorced, remember that it's still about the kids. Don't do what a buddy of mine did and decide that after a divorce he could go back to living like a 30 year old and shunt family life to a nuisance every second weekend. And then have the gall to complain about paying child support. Be an adult and take full responsibility for raising your kids.