[wretched34]

Personally, My first wife and I split when our son was 2 years old.
Our relationship was a wreck, full of constant animosity and arguing.
We tried to make it work, for our sons sake, counselling, the whole nine yards.
Ultimately, the decision was mine, and I made it because I wasn't happy, and I knew I wasn't going to be happy, and I didn't want my son growing up to know me as an unhappy person. Same goes for his mother.
He's now nearly 8, we share custody, and have both moved on with our lives. I am re-married, she is engaged. We don't speak to eachother on a personal level, but we co-parent.
I feel like because it happened when our son was so young, he doesn't really know any different, and he's shown no signs of resentment towards either of us. He has a happy life, with two loving families that provide him with everything he needs and then some.

I guess what I'm saying, is in my eyes, it's all about the kids. You say yours are under 10, but I assume older than 2, likely old enough to understand what's going on. Which is where things would get tricky. You don't ever want them thinking it is their fault if you choose to split up, but at the same time, do you want them feeling it's their fault that their parents are unhappily married, because that can and likely will happen as they get older as well. If they are closer to 10, maybe you and the wife need to include them in the conversation. Obviously not at a high level, but get a gauge for how they feel. Include them in family counselling maybe, so a counselor or therapist can help explain the situation in a way that they would understand better?

To add, the greatest thing that has come of the Divorce, is my son now sees, in both houses, what Love looks like.
I've seen the result of kids raised in a home without that love, and it does have an effect. I'd say even more so on young girls, as they grow up in an home without emotion, and think that's how all relationships should be, because "Well that's how mom and dad were". I feel like a better father personally by being able to show my son how to love a woman, not saying you don't treat your wife well and with respect, but a loveless marriage is not the same, and I am sure you know that.