Anyone ever try to repeat a Mitch Hedberg joke? It fails miserably until you do it in his voice.. his delivery is amazing.
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You know, there's a fishing show on TV. They catch the fish, but they let it go. They don't want to eat the fish, but they do want to make it late for something. A fish would say, "You're late!" "I got caught." "Bull****! Let me see the inside of your lip.
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If you've ever heard this line, hearing him say inside of your lip is hilarious on itself.. such unique delivery.
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I saw a commercial for an above-ground pool. It was thirty seconds long. You know why? Because that's the maximum amount of time you can depict youself having fun in an above-ground pool. If it was thirty-one seconds, the actors would have been like "What should I do know? Pass the ball back to Jimmy? Or put some goggles on and look at his feet?!? I can't even drown my knee caps
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I like an escalator, man, 'cause an escalator can never break. It can only become stairs. There would never be a "Escalator temporarily out of order" sign, only "Escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience
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Heard that line, and a Yoplay yogurt line "Fruit on bottom, hope on top" on the Dr. Katz show many years ago, been a Hedberg fan ever since.