I wonder if duct taping a leaf blower to the open door of the microwave would damage the microwave's exhaust fan...
If you're looking for the softie option, the eggs take 2-3 weeks to hatch, and it takes about a month for them to leave.
However you get someone up there, make sure the vent cover is replaced with one that has some kind of screen or grid or other protection, otherwise they'll likely come back and reuse the same spot.
No idea on the lift, but I agree it would seem that either crafting a little platform or even cutting the sod out and digging a little flat area into the ground (assuming it's grass) would be something a contractor would regularly do for such situations.
I agree though I wouldn't do it myself either, I'm fine with heights but I hate ladders.
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Uncertainty is an uncomfortable position.
But certainty is an absurd one.
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