Once the new microwaves arrive, microwave a stick of gelignite from home in one, blow up and burn down the building, then point the finger at HR saying, "This wouldn't have happened if we'd bought microwaves based on performance instead of looks."
PS: If you don't have gelignite, Acme sells TNT, although you have to buy in bulk. Maybe save the extra in case you feel like catching some free range squab, or to give it to neighborhood kidss who need to learn playing with matches is for adults.
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Better educated sadness than oblivious joy.
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