[Bagor]

Sergey Kislyak, the least memorable man in the world

He has spoken to senators.
He has spoken to generals, both regular and soon-to-be-attorney.
But as soon as he speaks his words vanish, as if they had never been.
No one can definitively state that they were in the room with him at any time. (This must create certain difficulties in his job as Russia’s ambassador to the United States.)
His name is Sergey Kislyak, and he is the Most Forgettable Man in the World.
Pictures of him show a corpulent replica of Nikita Khrushchev. But these pictures apparently correspond to a man that no one has ever met. No one he has ever met or talked to seems to remember him. Not Michael Flynn. Not Attorney General Jeff Sessions. No one. Dementors speak of him with reverence, as the mere allusion to his presence removes not only happy memories but all memories of any kind.
He has made many phone calls. But it is only with great difficulty that intelligence agencies were able to make any record of these calls. His voice, like a tree falling alone in a Siberian forest, never makes a sound.
The second he meets with anyone, this meeting vanishes from their memories and their testimony. After meeting with him, senators will shake their watches and say, “But Sofia, I was supposed to meet the Russian ambassador two hours ago!” and Sofia will say, “He just came out of your office, sir.”
He is a paradox of space and time.
He once slept on a memory-foam mattress and left no impression whatsoever.
Pigeons often fly directly into him, mistaking him for empty space.

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