I don't get why the dishwasher or laundry machine is such a big deal. A modern energy star dishwasher only uses 4 or 5 gallons. That's between the pre-wash, wash and rinse cycle. Assuming a 2 hour cycle that's two gallons an hour.
Likewise a front load washing machine only uses 10 to 15 gallons or so. Using a warm wash/cold rinse cycle that's maybe 3 gallons of hot water when you first turn it on.
If 40 gallons isn't getting the job done you can also try increasing the temperature on your hot water heater. It won't affect how much hot water your appliances use but you'll need less hot water to shower.
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