[CaptainCrunch]

Wear clean underwear. That way when the plane spirals out of control you can pass to the great beyond knowing that everyone that see's your battered corpse will comment on your nice clean tighty whities.

Next make sure that you take care of all of your um personal needs before you get on the plane. Because there's nothing worse then taking a poop on your first plane flight. Especially if you can't make it to the bathroom as the plane is spiraling into the ocean.

Listen to the inflight instructions, they might be boring, and most veteran flyers make it a habit to try to look cool by ignoring the message. But there's nothing that's worse then the plane spiraling into the ocean and looking at the dude next to you who quickly put on the complex fire proof survival suit while you can't even get it out of the bag.

Don't eat heavy greasy food before your flight. Seriously there is something un natural about flight, especially when you hit turbulence. There's nothing worse as a first time flyer then over filling the vomit bag with a pungent mix of eggs of Sausage during a particular bouncy flight.

Take gum. When you take off and land the pressure changes do terrible things to your ears. Also if your flying and feel any anxiety, just pop in a piece of gum and or mint, and then go back to watching the movie Airport 76 on your I-pad.