Quote:
Originally Posted by Erick Estrada
I still can't believe one of these two will be president. If I was American I don't know if I would laugh or cry.
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I've been trying to come up with a proper historical comparable to Donald Trump, and it was proving to be more difficult than I thought.
Originally, I fell into the same trap as many others and went with Hitler. A populist demagogue who rode a wave of hatred to power. Trump's not Hitler. Hitler wrote his own book. Hitler was a war hero. He may be the most monstrous human being who ever lived, but World War One does things to a person.
Trump has been called "the last President of the United States" by many pundits and comedians, so my next thought was Tsar Nicolas II, who presided over the collapse of the Romanov dynasty. This one seemed a little more appropriate - prior to World War One, Russia would've been considered the single most powerful nation on the planet, so it might be that similarly weak men would be in charge of their collapses. Nicolas was heavily influenced by Rasputin, and while I could see Donald Trump falling under the spell of a single imbalanced man, I think that man is Donald himself. Finally, Nicolas II isn't the right choice because he loved ALL his kids, and he did that while not wanting to bang any of them.
I had to look inward, and if you wish to find the American soul in 2016, you have to look at football. It was there I found my man.
Tim Tebow is a famous quarterback who can't throw a football or read a defense. He rose to prominence under one of the best college coaches ever, and got to dump the ball off to freak athletes like Percy Harvin and a yet to be convicted of murder Aaron Hernandez. Tebow himself is a great athlete, there's no denying that. But much the same way being a great athlete doesn't make you a great quarterback, being rich doesn't make you a great businessman.
Tebow busted in Denver hard (phrasing). One game, the Broncos ran the ball more than 40 times and passed 8 because the guy who throws the ball couldn't. He bounced around the league for a few years after, and the stories would all be the same in the off season. 'Tebow's throwing motion looks so much better'. 'His footwork is much improved'. 'He gives them an option out of the Wildcat'. 'All he does is win'.
The last coach to keep Tebow on a roster passed training camp was Rex Ryan. Rex Ryan is a fool. No matter how much fans loved him and owners wanted to sell his jersey, it was impossible to watch tape of real quarterbacks like Brady, Rodgers, or really anybody who knew what they were doing and conclude Tim Tebow was fit to play that position every Sunday.
Meanwhile, you have Hillary. Overshadowed by a famous family member who does the same job, and a woman to boot. Nothing Hillary does will ever be good enough, despite a long, accomplished career that anyone would be proud of. She's in the Situation Room with Obama on 5/11, FFS.
Perpetually uncool, constantly undone by awful candid photographs of stupid expressions on her face, and so unrelatable you wonder if her own teammates even like her. Hillary Clinton is Eli.
In 2016, Eli isn't your first overall pick. In a perfect world, he's not who you build a franchise around. But nobody in their right mind would ever take Tim Tebow ahead of Eli Manning.
Vote for Eli.