[CaptainCrunch]

I firmly believe in charitable donations.

I believe that the poor should donate their spare organs to the wealthy and powerful. We can even provide them with a tax receipt based on the value of the organ. This way we the 1% can live longer lives and give more of our blessings to society

I believe the poor should donate at least one child to science for experimentation. It doesn't have to be cruel experiments. But I have to be honest, no matter how much I spend on shampoo it stings my eyes a little bit, and that's intolerable. Your generous donation of one child, to which you will receive a tax receipt will ensure that I am not only more handsome, but my eyes won't sting which takes my thoughts away from making money of which I give a small portion back to the state for social programs.

I believe that we need to create some kind of charity that uses treadmills, that way we can encourage the poor to donate their time by running on the treadmill for money so that we can generate cheaper and cleaner electricity to power our 100" 3d curved wall mounted TV's. Which will keep us the 1% more relaxed and able to work more efficiently when we trade stocks and bonds on the international private insider trading network that allows us to become rich. Also the environment wins.

I am the 1% do as I say