First of all, sorry about your loss.
Second of all, I think you really need to talk to someone and work it out. When I hear pain in the shoulder and jaw.
If its muscular skeletal pain that's normal when you're stressed and you're tense all the time.
But if its not it could be a sign of other things, and you should run and not walk to a doctor.
The old theory is to get it out of your system, I had a friend of mine die relatively young and horribly and I was so tense and angry that I was in physical pain, and the way that I got that anger out was not the most productive.
AHS and even the city of Calgary has free grief support resources, I would probably think it couldn't hurt for you to explore these.
http://www.albertahealthservices.ca/...page13161.aspx
http://www.calgary.ca/cps/Pages/Comm...reavement.aspx
The old way, and you and me both know about it is to have the stiff upper lip and tuck the grief and anger away and to put on a strong front for everyone else. But its bulls%%t and its bad for you physically and mentally and you need to deal with it in a manner that doesn't burn you to a cinder.