Here are my top 10 reasons that Titanic sucked.
1. It's longer than Lawrence of Arabia--and contains no "Alec Guiness playing an Arab" to brighten up the drudgery of watching it.
2. Leonardo DiCaprio
3. I knew how it was going to end before the movie even started.
4. Leonardo DiCaprio
5. It's maudlin, and the dialogue is terrible.
6. The story is pointless. Guy gets girl. Guy dies. Girl loses necklace. Yawn.
7. Leonardo DiCaprio
8. It's anachronistic, and pays no attention to dialect. I'm supposed to believe that Leo is Irish? That Kathy Bates is uppercrust New-English? Please.
9. Leonardo DiCaprio
10. Did I mention it's too frikkin' long? It's really long--and having a row of sobbing teenagers in front of you doesn't make it any more bearable.
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