Quote:
Originally Posted by peter12
I'm still worried about all the hot showers that I took as a youth, and how that may have contributed to my advanced case of male-pattern baldness.
|
I started eating more cottage cheese a few years ago and I've noticed lately that it only takes me days to grow a pretty sweet beard, whereas prior to the cottage cheese it would take me weeks. Now, hear me out on this. Potassium sorbate is one of the main ingredients in cottage cheese. Do you know what else potassium sorbate is used in? Sweet wines, sparkling wines, and some hard ciders. What else is in hard cider? Alcohol. What do I often do while having long, hot showers? That's right, I drink alcohol.
So clearly what you need to be doing to reverse your male-pattern baldness is taking long, hot showers, while drinking hard cider, and giving yourself cottage-cheese scalp massages. These are the secrets big shampoo doesn't want you to know. Wake up, sheeple!