When I was a kid we were so effing poor after my old man left my mum would tear up newspaper and punch a hole in the corner for a bit of string to tie it to the sink, the whole time you sat on the bog you had to desperately crumple the newspaper to soften it up and take the shine off it so it at least had some chance of wiping your arse.
You little #######s don't know how soft you've got it etc etc etc.....
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