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Originally Posted by afc wimbledon
I've never had consent to have sex in my life, consent has always been a series of groping and kissing moves where I didn't get told to eff off, or slapped or just given some lame excuse.
I would assume S&M is mostly the same.
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Sex columnist Dan Savage addressed this point shortly after the story first broke in October 2014:
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My theory is that Ghomeshi's MO has been to initiate rough sex—become violent in the lead-up to a sexual encounter—and that he either believes or intends to argue that this was how he got a woman's consent. If he became violent and they didn't respond negatively or didn't leave or if they returned, he saw that as consent. If they reacted negatively, if they were unhappy, he stopped.
The problem with that? Or one of the many problems with that? Only an idiot or a sociopath would interpret actions that could be read one way or another—she came back because she likes this kind of roughness, she came back because she's starstruck and is willing to overlook or hopes to deflect this kind of roughness—as consent to the kind of extreme #### Ghomeshi apparently enjoys. Only an idiot or a sociopath would interpret someone's vague and non-verbal consent to some mild roughness ("I pulled her hair and two weeks later she came back to my apartment...") as consent to being punched repeatedly in the head with a closed fist.
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http://slog.thestranger.com/slog/arc...-jian-ghomeshi