Hmm there are some interesting points in here. On one hand, having kids self-identify their gender, before they even understand what that really means, is not something I really agree with. Maybe they get confused and a girl identifies as a boy just because shes a "tom-boy" and likes doing "boy" things, but that doesn't mean she recognizes (or should recognize) herself as a boy. She's just a girl that likes hanging with the boys. That doesn't necessarily make her a male in her soul. And she might veer away from those things as she grows older and becomes more of a woman by traditional standards. I think the anecdotal evidence would tell you that kids don't particularly know or care what another kid's gender is. They hang out with people they like.
On the other hand, I really don't think that parents can be left to themselves on these issues. I think that they have proven time and again to be the cause of problems with kids that they don't understand. Much of the issues surrounded LGBT kids are the result of lack of acceptance from their parents, and I think it's the same for issues of gender. And, in congruent with the idea that kids of a certain age don't care about their friends gender, bullying problems tends i think tend to flow from the parents and them instilling outdated ideas in their kids, which I do think is a big problem.
So I don't know if I think that a 'self-identifying" form or something is the way to go, but a mandatory program, like sex-ed (which should also be mandatory), where they educated kids on up-to-date issues of gender and sexuality, and why there isn't a "normal", but just a range of differences. I also think these types of courses should be mandatory for parents.
"You want your kid to attend our school? Great! We have semi-annual mandatory assemblies for parents to attend on issues of sexuality, gender and bullying. Oh, you don't want to do that? Well every school in the province has these mandates, so here's a brochure on how to home-school your child. I suggest you don't avoid the chapters dealing with these subjects you find to be 'uncomfortable'."
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