Thought I should update this thread.
First the trauma therapy I have been attending has been much more effective than any previous treatment. I am actually making progress more organically then ever before. The therapy is called EMDR or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing.
Along with the EMDR therapy, I have been using medical marijuana for about a month and a half. Getting it prescribed was actually much easier than I thought it was going to be and the effect it has had in conjunction with the EMDR has felt like a total godsend.
This is my first time ever using cannabis and it has been very interesting. Had two bad trips which were enlightening reminding me of how I felt when I was younger and the absolute self loathing I felt. But all that did was remind me how much I want to recover from this and have a normal life for the first time.
Besides those two bad experiences which only happened because I am a newbie I have really liked using pot. It actually stops my flashbacks and anxiety in its tracks so far. I have found that it produces a feeling of being in the now, detached from the past and free of worry about the future driven by my past. This has been wonderful because it allows me to actually see the world as it is, not through the distorted lens of C-PTSD, which means I have a better chance of moving beyond those distortions and fears. I have been struggling with how to describe it but it is like an anesthetic for the brain that reduces inflammation so it can heal.
It has been a very interesting experience and I would absolutely recommend both EMDR and Pot to anyone in a similar situation; though I personally think that both are needed together to work.
Sadly as I posted in the Gear Grinder thread my chance to really test myself got snatched away, so it remains to be seen how effective all of this has been.
I do have a criticism about the marijuana. I have been vaporizing, which is nice and all because it works very quickly, but I really wish I had a more discreet way to ingest my medicine like an oral spray or something if I need it while outside the house. But I can't because the former Federal government acted like a bunch of of neanderthals about the issue until the Supreme Court of Canada made them do it. But of course they have been dragging their feet on approving things like an oral spray for as long as they could out of petty spite.
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