As someone said one would have to know the neighbourhood to really gauge... I could probably do a letter like that in my area and not get any negative comments, though they'd probably just let me know their house was scary so I could avoid it, and that's probably the tactic I'd take in that situation (but that's with the benefit of many years of mistakes and agonizing of similar situations where it feels like there's no win).
But it's easy to sit back and be an internet parent and judge what the exact right thing to do and deride parents who don't think of that in their quest to try and balance having their kid included with their friends and everything else.
I guess they should have said "Sorry Johnny you're a little scaredy-cat we'll go trick-or-treat at the church all by yourself while your friends go together without you because you can't handle reality, next year grow up some and be more normal."
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Uncertainty is an uncomfortable position.
But certainty is an absurd one.
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