Quote:
Originally Posted by Buff
I guess this is as good a thread as any to "come out"
I am white, male, and I am a Christian.
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Can't I say to a friend "I like you, I disagree with your lifestyle, but I am not going to get in your way of living it." without being called a bigot?
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I'm not sure what else I can say. Perhaps I am not helping. Perhaps I am just setting myself up for ridicule on CP. I don't know. Thoughts on what I just said?
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I applaud you sharing your take on the matter, as it propels conversation forward and helps create more understanding. You will undoubtedly take heat for it. I have no desire to call you a bigot or label people as such, especially when they're honest and forthright with their opinions and how they've been formed.
I left in the part in the middle I found the most contentious.
I am also white, male, and Christian (or at least was).
Difference being that when you started developing an attraction to the opposite sex, I was experiencing attraction to my same gender.
While you were out chatting and flirting and dating with girls of interest, I was in my room sobbing and praying to God to change me.
While you were getting atta boys, and pats on the back from friends and family as you pursued girls/girlfriends/a wife, I was hearing the sermons and opinions you listened to, and distancing/cloaking myself from those close to me in my life.
Sure, we're all born inherently sinful. Do you feel bad when you lie? Then how am I supposed to feel when I want to experience human love and intimacy? How would you feel if you were taught the feelings you feel toward your wife/girlfriend were blasphemy? An abomination? Wrong?
It messed up my childhood and you can bet those effects continue to linger.
What I do cherish is the whole experience taught me never to judge others because I have no clue what they may be going through or what life experiences formed them into who they are. It's not because the Bible says thou shall not judge. I still live my life by a lot of Christian ideals but it's because they make sense, as they are about compassion and caring and servitude. Not because I'll be eternally punished if I don't follow. According to your beliefs I'm already there.
Anyway, back to the source of contention:
Define a friend how you will, but when you disagree with something about them that is inherent and at their core, you're not a true friend.
These gay "friends" are extending the same courtesy to you, electing to overlook an aspect of you - your ignorant view of their "lifestyle"- that they find disagreeable and let you live your own way. I have many that would consider me their gay friend. They'd be mistaken. Not that I would ever be unfriendly with them. They're good people at heart. Kind of like us sinful homosexuals I guess.
I didn't choose who I was attracted to. If I accepted what I was inundated with growing up the guilt and self-hate would have overwhelmed and killed me. It still might. I'm fighting to overcome the damage and trying to live a happy life. Thank you to those who have listened, respected and altered their voices over the last decade. It's helped me and many others I'm sure. God bless.