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Originally Posted by Bmuzyka
That may work for some people. I know, personally, in my situation, I am a huge pushover, and in mediation, I caved on a few issues I should have stood my ground on. I really rely on my lawyer to protect my rights as a father, but also look out for my best interests. My ex wife has made some very unreasonable demands, and my lawyer has been awesome shooting them down. My ex wife has now on her third lawyer for a number of reasons.
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Is this in response to my post about finding a collaborative lawyer and not a combative one? I think there's a middle ground between being a pushover vs. having a lawyer that fights the other lawyer on every little thing, sends a million l(expensive) letters and ultimately pushes you to the courts to settle your divorce. Lots of them (lawyers) capitalize on angry people wanting to take out their anger on their ex. I actually used Barb Widdowson myself and she was very expensive but really good. I was really really REALLY mad and sad at the outset of my divorce and she talked me down from some issues that I could have wasted a lot of money, time and energy on battling my ex unfairly about if I had a less collaborative lawyer.
Anyways. TL;DR. You can always bring your lawyer with you to mediation, too. But a jointly-retained mediator is responsible to ensure the rights of both parties are being fairly represented in the mediation.